today's post brought to you by the word "ass"

At work yesterday, my boss had issues with the word "assess" that Tysen had used in a memo. He said it looked like "asses", which it sort of does, but in the context it would be impossible to get the two confused. Of course, he wanted to change it, Tysen wanted it to stay, and I didn't care, but found the conversation endlessly entertaining. So, Tysen and I made a few creative changes to the memo to include as many words beginning with ass we could find. Here is my paragraph:

The assertive assistant assassinated the assay before the assurgent associate could asseverate it. The associate is an assiduous asshole for assigning the assistant to assemble assorted asses and assuage the assumptions of the assault. We must assail the associate with assegais until he assents to assess the associate's assimilation and assure us it is an asset.

You can check out Tysen's paragraph here.